I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
