Got a toothbrush?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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