Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so im guessing thats a no.....

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(858): View more from California

my life trainwreck boards at 9:30

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(513): View more from Ohio

Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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(440): View more from Ohio

But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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(905): View more from Ontario

They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.

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(+49): View more from Germany

I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka

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(302): View more from Delaware

I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Clutch

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