dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She needs sedatives and a leash
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
