would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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