So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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