you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
