Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
