I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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