alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
