What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
