Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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