I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
