i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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