I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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