That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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