Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
