As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
