apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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