Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Dnt_u_wish hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Totally acceptable.

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(406): View more from Montana

It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?

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