Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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