She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
