that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I smell like Dick and happiness
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
