Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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