Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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