It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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