People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
