why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
