all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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