Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
