Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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