I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
