We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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