when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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