is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
