I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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