mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
