You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
