just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i think my cat just said my name.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
