I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Couch. On fire.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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