guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
