tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
