New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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