I could have mohawked her pubes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
