Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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