I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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