you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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