So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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