well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
