dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
