You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
