YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
