But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
